Comments on: How do you support a friend with cancer? http://getitwrite.ca/2009/11/17/how-do-you-support-a-friend-with-cancer/ Freelance writer Sue Horner talks about writing, newsletters and corporate communications Fri, 18 May 2012 17:11:30 +0000 hourly 1 By: Sue Ridewood http://getitwrite.ca/2009/11/17/how-do-you-support-a-friend-with-cancer/comment-page-1/#comment-54818 Sue Ridewood Tue, 24 Nov 2009 17:59:35 +0000 http://getitwrite.ca/2009/11/17/how-do-you-support-a-friend-with-cancer/#comment-54818 What a loving post. My addition: don't be afraid to talk about the hard stuff. Many people want to talk about being scared, about death, about pain -- and they often don't want to burden their family with their fears (this was certainly true of my mom). It's an old cliche, but acknowledging the elephant in the room is often one of the best favours you can do for your friend. (Obviously you have to let your friend's state of mind guide you on this one, but you can let them know you're open to talking about it if they are.) What a loving post. My addition: don’t be afraid to talk about the hard stuff. Many people want to talk about being scared, about death, about pain — and they often don’t want to burden their family with their fears (this was certainly true of my mom). It’s an old cliche, but acknowledging the elephant in the room is often one of the best favours you can do for your friend. (Obviously you have to let your friend’s state of mind guide you on this one, but you can let them know you’re open to talking about it if they are.)

]]> By: Sue http://getitwrite.ca/2009/11/17/how-do-you-support-a-friend-with-cancer/comment-page-1/#comment-54809 Sue Mon, 23 Nov 2009 20:51:40 +0000 http://getitwrite.ca/2009/11/17/how-do-you-support-a-friend-with-cancer/#comment-54809 This from Joyce Hansen via Twitter (classactconnect): "Karen Zizzo wrote a book about how her son beat cancer - great support tool for your friend. Check out Karen's site - karenzizzo.com." This from Joyce Hansen via Twitter (classactconnect): “Karen Zizzo wrote a book about how her son beat cancer – great support tool for your friend. Check out Karen’s site – karenzizzo.com.”

]]> By: Barb Sawyers http://getitwrite.ca/2009/11/17/how-do-you-support-a-friend-with-cancer/comment-page-1/#comment-54753 Barb Sawyers Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:46:18 +0000 http://getitwrite.ca/2009/11/17/how-do-you-support-a-friend-with-cancer/#comment-54753 What a lovely friend you must be. Great tips. All I would add is try to to make your friend laugh. There's no better distraction, even if if it's only fleeting. What a lovely friend you must be. Great tips.

All I would add is try to to make your friend laugh. There’s no better distraction, even if if it’s only fleeting.

]]> By: Sue http://getitwrite.ca/2009/11/17/how-do-you-support-a-friend-with-cancer/comment-page-1/#comment-54736 Sue Thu, 19 Nov 2009 12:53:05 +0000 http://getitwrite.ca/2009/11/17/how-do-you-support-a-friend-with-cancer/#comment-54736 Thank you all for your excellent suggestions and comments! Please keep 'em coming! Thank you all for your excellent suggestions and comments! Please keep ‘em coming!

]]> By: Sara J. Taylor http://getitwrite.ca/2009/11/17/how-do-you-support-a-friend-with-cancer/comment-page-1/#comment-54732 Sara J. Taylor Thu, 19 Nov 2009 06:14:41 +0000 http://getitwrite.ca/2009/11/17/how-do-you-support-a-friend-with-cancer/#comment-54732 A wonderful post; sadly, we all have too much experience with supporting friends and family through cancer. A couple more thoughts: Be a great listener. To be quiet and a pair of ears is invaluable - sometimes people just need to share without receiving any advice or information in return. Bring a sense of "normalcy" to the person's life - carry on with the activities you love to do together and as a group. By continuing with the more regular things, it can be reassuring to have some routine when so much of the person's life is feeling out of their control. Lastly, do what you can to honour the person and their fight. I have walked three times in the Weekend to End Breast Cancer's 60km trek through Toronto. It feels like the least I can do to help! Sara A wonderful post; sadly, we all have too much experience with supporting friends and family through cancer. A couple more thoughts:

Be a great listener. To be quiet and a pair of ears is invaluable – sometimes people just need to share without receiving any advice or information in return.

Bring a sense of “normalcy” to the person’s life – carry on with the activities you love to do together and as a group. By continuing with the more regular things, it can be reassuring to have some routine when so much of the person’s life is feeling out of their control.

Lastly, do what you can to honour the person and their fight. I have walked three times in the Weekend to End Breast Cancer’s 60km trek through Toronto. It feels like the least I can do to help!

Sara

]]> By: devin http://getitwrite.ca/2009/11/17/how-do-you-support-a-friend-with-cancer/comment-page-1/#comment-54727 devin Wed, 18 Nov 2009 18:59:29 +0000 http://getitwrite.ca/2009/11/17/how-do-you-support-a-friend-with-cancer/#comment-54727 This is a great post for a friend with cancer. Another terrific resource is Human Tribe Project. It's a free website allowing people to show support and raise funds for a loved one in any type of health crisis. To raise funds Tribe Members can purchase Tribe Tags-- steel,charmed necklaces-- and with every $20 purchase, $15 is given directly to the beneficiary. www.humantribeproject.com This is a great post for a friend with cancer. Another terrific resource is Human Tribe Project. It’s a free website allowing people to show support and raise funds for a loved one in any type of health crisis. To raise funds Tribe Members can purchase Tribe Tags– steel,charmed necklaces– and with every $20 purchase, $15 is given directly to the beneficiary.

http://www.humantribeproject.com

]]> By: Les Potter http://getitwrite.ca/2009/11/17/how-do-you-support-a-friend-with-cancer/comment-page-1/#comment-54726 Les Potter Wed, 18 Nov 2009 18:45:58 +0000 http://getitwrite.ca/2009/11/17/how-do-you-support-a-friend-with-cancer/#comment-54726 Sue, This is a timely and valuable post. I particularly would stress this one: Offer practical help, and be specific. Rather than say, “Let me know if I can help,” say “When can I…” and offer to do something — housekeeping, laundry, shopping, etc. Cancer patients need solid, constructive help, not vague offers. Your post is a terrific start to helping build a dialogue on this important subject. Les Sue,

This is a timely and valuable post. I particularly would stress this one: Offer practical help, and be specific. Rather than say, “Let me know if I can help,” say “When can I…” and offer to do something — housekeeping, laundry, shopping, etc.

Cancer patients need solid, constructive help, not vague offers. Your post is a terrific start to helping build a dialogue on this important subject.

Les

]]> By: Gloria Hildebrandt http://getitwrite.ca/2009/11/17/how-do-you-support-a-friend-with-cancer/comment-page-1/#comment-54724 Gloria Hildebrandt Wed, 18 Nov 2009 13:52:05 +0000 http://getitwrite.ca/2009/11/17/how-do-you-support-a-friend-with-cancer/#comment-54724 These are good suggestions. It's a valuable topic to write about, because I'm sure a lot of people are like me, and don't know what to do with someone who isn't a member of the family. If it was a family member, I would do everything I could every day, but it's hard to know what to do with someone a little more distant. These are good suggestions. It’s a valuable topic to write about, because I’m sure a lot of people are like me, and don’t know what to do with someone who isn’t a member of the family. If it was a family member, I would do everything I could every day, but it’s hard to know what to do with someone a little more distant.

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