Disaster puts our petty little problems into context, doesn’t it? If you feel inclined to help the people of Haiti struggling after yesterday’s earthquake, here’s a suggestion:

My colleague (through the Halton-Peel Communications Assocation) Marnie Hughes was project coordinator for the International Conference of Healing Hands for Haiti in Toronto last November. She says, “I was fortunate to meet many individuals from Haiti, Canada and the U.S. who have dedicated the past 10 years to providing rehabilitative medicine and education to the disabled of Haiti. After yesterday’s devastating earthquake, what is left of their facility will be put to use helping, where possible, even more vulnerable Haitians. It would mean a great deal if you would consider directing your help to www.healinghandsforhaiti.org. Thank you very much for considering this.”

As always, the American Red Cross and Canadian Red Cross are also providing assistance. And so is Free The Children.

Just a couple of years ago, today would have been a travel day. I’d have my bag packed, a batch of shortbread made, and would be (probably frantically) doing some last-minute work this morning before heading to the airport for a Thursday-to-Sunday pre-Christmas getaway. Destination: Vancouver, and the home of my very best friend from — and the highlight of — my high school days.

Sometimes, between the demands of work and my own family and getting ready for Christmas, it seemed impossible to even think of getting away, but I did. We got ready for Christmas together every year that Dale spent in Vancouver. Usually, we went to pick out a tree together, set it up and decorated it. I made more shortbread with her two daughters. We went Christmas shopping. We made meals, laughed, hung out with her son and daughters, caught up on each other’s lives and laughed some more. Even the mundane chores of life with small children, when they were small, were somehow easier because it was like having two moms in the house.

Well, you know where this is heading. Dale died of multiple myeloma in January, 2005. So I can’t tell you how glad I am that I made a point of visiting every single year, no matter what was going on.

Jean Gogolin, a speechwriter friend met through the serendipity of the Internet, shared in a recent newsletter an interesting perspective on the need for balance in life, contained in a speech by Coca-Cola CEO Bryan Dyson:

“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them — work, family, health, friends and spirit, and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls — family, health, friends and spirit — are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. It will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.”

I love that description, and he’s right. Every time I’ve thought “I can’t possibly get away, I’ve got too much work,” but I’ve done it anyway — to visit Dale, to take a one-hour skiing lesson once a week, to help out occasionally in my sons’ classrooms when they were small — the work has been there when I returned, and it got done. And my family, health, friends and spirit have been the better for my choice.

So don’t neglect your work, but make sure it doesn’t cause you to scuff or shatter the other balls in your life.

All the fuss about Tiger Woods this week (who is thankfully no longer the top trending topic on Twitter) just made me think this:

If those who are already gorgeous, thin and rich — like Elin Nordegren and Shania Twain, for American and Canadian examples — are having trouble reaching happily-ever-after, why do so many people hang their hopes on a good life on getting rid of wrinkles, losing 10 pounds and winning the lottery?

Don’t wait to live your life. Go do it now.

I lost another friend last week, this time to inflammatory breast cancer. It’s a particularly nasty form that often comes on suddenly, acting similar to mastitis (also an inflammation, usually related to breastfeeding), and spreads quickly. Her oncologist had only seen 12 cases in his practice, and every one of the women who had it died.

By chance, my husband and I had been in her town three weeks earlier and arranged to visit; two weeks later, she was gone. The funeral was this past weekend. (This is a good time to remind you to hug the people you love every chance you get!)

I recently heard that another friend has been diagnosed with breast cancer; fortunately, not the inflammatory kind. So far, she’s had a lumpectomy, and I will be in touch this week to see where things are at. Two other friends have been through breast cancer treatments and recently passed the magical five-year mark.

So over the years, I’ve been collecting suggestions on how to best support a friend who has cancer. These are some ideas:

Make sure she knows about community support groups. Wellspring is one resource in many Canadian cities that offers workshops and discussions, newsletters, a lending library and a quiet place to meet with other patients and family members who share similar concerns, questions and needs. The one near me has sessions coming up that deal with post-treatment depression and eating well on a budget.

Go online and get informed. One of the first places to look online is a reputable organization like the Canadian Cancer Society. Whether or not your friend goes online, you should, to learn as much as you can.

Get involved, if your friend wants you to. Maybe you can drive your friend to appointments, or sit with her when she’s going through chemo. Find out if she feels like a visitor.

Offer practical help, and be specific. Rather than say, “Let me know if I can help,” say “When can I…” and offer to do something — housekeeping, laundry, shopping, updating other friends on her progress. Bring dinner or goodies you know she likes (call first) but may not feel like making herself; best if it’s something she can freeze and reheat in case someone else has brought something.

Stay in touch. The treatment cycle is long, and people sometimes feel awkward about checking in because they don’t know what to say. (How about just, “I was thinking of you”?) Keep in touch by e-mail. Randomly send a card or flowers to let her know you are thinking of her.

Have you helped support a friend with cancer? What did you do?

Through the serendipity of the web, I somehow came across a blog called 37 Days. Asheville, North Carolina writer Patti Digh asked the question, “What would I be doing today if I only had 37 days to live?” after her stepfather was diagnosed with lung cancer, and died 37 days later.  She later turned the experience into a book, Life is a Verb: 37 Days to Wake Up, Be Mindful, and Live Intentionally.

I just love how she describes its philosophy:

“Life takes action, not wishful thinking. It takes mindfulness and intention. It takes slowing down and saying yes and being generous and being amazed and loving more.”

Hear, hear.

Have you read it? What did you think?

Tired of reading/hearing about all the layoffs, bankruptcies and other bad news filling the media these days? Do something! Here’s Michael Katz’s suggestion: spend your way to an economic boost for your own town.

Michael is “Chief Penguin” (aka president) of Blue Penguin Development and author of the e-newsletter that’s at the top of my “Damn, I wish I wrote that” file. He tells engaging stories that always have a point related to newsletters and building relationships with your customers.

“Here’s the problem,” he says. “Expectation plays a big role in the state of the economy. A good part of our decision to spend money is based on what we think will happen…So we hang onto our money. Even if we still have a job and a paycheck, and even though we understand that by spending less we’re only contributing to the problem.”

His idea is that once a month, on the 20th, we should agree to spend $20 “in the towns where we live and watch as it gives our neighbors (and ourselves) an economic boost.”

Sign up with Michael to receive a reminder every Thursday to go and spend $20. Then, go and spend $20. Really, life is too short not to.

Trust a writer to take away a word-related lesson after a near-fatal experience.

Daphne Gray-Grant’s regular Power Writing newsletter was delayed. When issue#149 did arrive, she explained the delay: she’d been in hospital because she’d had a stroke. Most powerful of the lessons she said she had learned:

• “When you have words, use them…Write and speak as if you might never be given the chance again.”
• “Never forget every day is a gift.”

Subscribe to Daphne’s e-newsletter. It’s smart, interesting, funny, helpful; you won’t be disappointed.

All summer, I kept working away on hot days, even with a pool coolly beckoning. “I’ll finish this project now and swim late in the day,” I told myself.  I can’t tell you how many times a glorious sunny day turned dark as rain swept in about 4 p.m., just about the time I was going to take that promised swim.

So today, with the air around 28 Celsius (high 80s F) and the sun shining, I came home from walking Jake and looked at that pool. Off came the solar blanket and in I went. It was heavenly. I’m back at my desk with renewed energy.

The clouds are rolling in although it isn’t supposed to rain today.

When my elderly neighbour passed away more than a year ago, his daughter took time to mourn. Then she started the task of cleaning up and fixing up, intending to sell the place. It’s a small two-bedroom bungalow, so the likely buyer will be elderly.  The daughter knew this buyer would be unlikely to want to fix things, so she’s trying to do all that fixing ahead of time.

I’m taking away two lessons from this lengthy project.

1. Don’t wait to fix something that bothers you. Her parents had always planned to update the kitchen, redo the bathroom, paint and spruce up. They would have loved the changes she has made, and in fact the dad had promised his wife a new kitchen when they moved in years earlier. She died before the promise was kept.
2. Don’t wait for perfection. After the extensive renovations inside were close to being finished (and they have turned out beautifully), the daughter and I were chatting on the driveway. She mentioned that the numbers on the house were crooked and that was something else that would have to be fixed. I just looked at her and said, “Let the new people straighten them if it’s important to them.” She can keep on fixing this little thing and that little thing, but at some point she has to settle for “pretty darn good” or “almost perfect” rather than “perfect.”

You can apply that same philosophy to writing, and in fact to most of life. Don’t put off starting. Keep making small improvements that get you closer to perfection without getting hung up wanting perfection or nothing.

As the school year winds down, Son #2 is headed for graduation from high school. While it’s not graduation from university, it is nevertheless a momentous occasion. (Sentimental creature that I am, there will be a tissue or three in my pocket.) So it seemed timely that I ran across (in the Mental Floss e-newsletter) a link to the YouTube video of Steve Jobs addressing graduates of Stanford University in 2005. Among his inspiring words (which echo some of the sentiments expressed earlier) :

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.”

And later:

“Don’t live someone else’s life.”

As Son #2 is poised to leap into his adult life, I hope my own example helps him take that message to heart.