You know it’s a good idea to stay away from jargon, or what I like to call the “secret handshake” between insiders. Sadly, many people (many of them in high places) do not. My guest post at Advantis Communications is a reminder of why it’s a good idea to ditch the jargon.
Well, this is exciting — I’m a guest blogger! Find out what I have to say about “inclusive language” in newsletters and other communications over at Advantis Communications. Oh, you know I have an opinion. Do you?
A client called yesterday in a bit of a panic, wondering if I could revise a news release for her by end of day. This is the kind of thing I often refer to as “pulling a rabbit out of a hat.”
I was already juggling a number of projects, but this is a long-time, valued client and I thought it could be done relatively quickly. So I met my other deadlines and then worked late on the “rabbit.”
The very first thing I did was change the lead sentence. By remarkable coincidence, Ragan.com CEO Mark Ragan today posted a link on Twitter on this very topic, pointing to a classic Steve Crescenzo column called “Dumping C.R.A.P. on reporters.”
In it, Steve rants that the “trained monkeys” who write most news releases follow this formula for the lead sentence:
Name of company + everything great about this company that nobody really cares about + bad verb + bad quote by a guy with too many titles.
My client’s release originally began with “Name of company + something great about this company that nobody really cares about” plus that other classic: “today announced” (as if the “announcing” is the news). And took 42 words to say it. The actual news event was in paragraph two.
I rewrote the lead to start with “Employees of [Company]” and link to their involvement in the event that was the “news.” It took only 18 words, and I was able to work in “polar bears,” which you have to admit is pretty awesome. I pushed the “something great about the company” to paragraph three, and included some facts that were relevant to the event.
My client was happy with the result, but I was worried some of the executives might have changed it back. She just called, however, and said they went with the revision. And she appreciated the link to Steve’s column, which gave her a laugh.
The bottom line: With news releases, as with newsletter articles, look for the news and put it up front. Your readers will be more likely to read it, whether they are employees or journalists.
I’m working with a new client who wants to introduce a newsletter for his customers, and I thought the discussions we’ve been having might be of interest to other people. So here are just some of the points to ponder if you’re thinking of a newsletter (either print or electronic):
Purpose: What do you want the newsletter to achieve? How will you know it’s effective? Is there any behaviour you want to change or encourage? Why a newsletter over other forms of communication?
Content: What will make your publication really useful to your readers? What will make them look forward to it, open it, read it? What unique perspective or information can you provide that readers can’t get elsewhere? What are you the expert in, or what makes you different? Are there frequently asked questions you can answer, case studies you can share, survey results, conference recaps and so on? Think about your readers and their needs. Make sure your content addresses the reader’s unspoken question, “What’s in it for me?”
Appearance: How important are looks? Do you want something with colour and impact, that could stand up to a magazine in the newsstand? Or do you want to go the other way, more subdued, even bare bones, in keeping with the economy? Or something in between?
Timing: Is there a particular day/week/month you want to be sure to issue your newsletter? This will help you decide when to launch, and help you set up a schedule to make sure you meet your deadline, whether it’s quarterly (the minimum time recommended), monthly, weekly or even daily. And yes, you should work backward from your desired publishing date to figure out when you need to start and finish each issue.
As I say, these are just some of the things to think about. What other suggestions would you share with someone thinking about introducing a newsletter?
Among the many sports my family watched during the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics was one that vividly reminded me to watch out for jargon. I’m talking about curling.
I’ve never curled, so I found the unfamiliar lingo quite confusing. The commentators talked about a runback double, draws and takeouts, a shot rock and a hammer, and on the button. Then there are the near constant shouts of “Hurry hard!” and just “HARD!!!!”
You’d think, having a large audience for the Olympics not necessarily familiar with the sport, there would be more of an attempt to explain. There wasn’t, or maybe they explained things early on and expected everyone to keep up. Or maybe the important fact (for Canadians) was that the men’s team won gold and the women’s team won silver.
The curling-speak reminded me of the value of watching out for jargon in employee communications. Often there’s an assumption that “everyone knows” what a particular term means, or maybe it’s been explained once or twice before and that’s considered to be enough. I don’t buy it. Many times I have asked someone to explain a term or what some initials stood for, and the employee doesn’t know, or can’t remember. So I like to explain uncommon terms, or better yet, use familiar words.
This week, I was applying that thinking to two projects involving information technology. Tech types never want to launch or introduce something when they can implement or deploy it. They are all about the impacts and solutions, and other special jargon. But I did my best to frame the projects in more common terms that would be understandable to non-tech readers. It’s always worth a try!
I wonder…if I succeeded with both, would that be a runback double?
While cleaning out my files this week, I came upon a stack of back issues of a four-page print publication I used to write and produce as a volunteer for one of my networking groups for entrepreneurs. Before recycling the pile, I went through it and kept a copy of each issue, filing them neatly in a binder. (This is part of the reason I need to declutter fairly often; you’ll find a sample of just about everything I have ever written somewhere in my office!)
As has happened, sadly, to many a print publication, this one no longer exists. It was a controversial decision that I won’t get into here. Suffice to say a number of us mourned and still feel its loss, despite its eventual replacement with an electronic version.
As I flipped through the issues, enjoying the smooth touch of the paper and the simple, clean design (by one of the group’s talented graphic designers), I was pleased to see that the content stood the test of time. We have a number of talented writers in the group who contributed, and it showed. The newsletter covered a variety of useful tips for things like riding out the peaks and valleys of solo work, cold calling, dealing with “scope creep” and maintaining a professional business with children home during the summer. The newsletter introduced new members and shared updates on projects in which existing members were involved. If you couldn’t make it to one of the regular meetings, you knew you’d be able to read about it in a summary that was the next best thing to being there.
Don’t get me wrong; e-newsletters can be great, and I subscribe to quite a few. The best make sure the content is king, with useful guidance on whatever the newsletter topic happens to be. And they are regular; if the newsletter is monthly, you get one every month. Although many people think an e-newsletter has to be flashy, a strictly text newsletter is fine; looks aren’t that important if the content is there.
But what’s so great about print?
Respected communications expert Dr. TJ Larkin notes that “The Web is best for short, quick, information retrieval. The Web user is a hunter: leaning forward, senses pricked, visually aware, searching and eventually tracking down the targeted information. This is a great mental state for searching but a much poorer one for comprehending.”
Dr. Larkin says companies should “think paper” when communicating things like a major change to benefit plans, a big strategic change in business direction or a new software application. “Messages that are new, long, and complicated belong on paper, not on Web pages,” he says. “Paper’s strength is comprehension. People use the Web — they read paper.”
(Download Dr. Larkin’s free report, Communicating Big Change Using Small Communication, at www.larkin.biz > Publications.)
When interviewing someone for an employee newsletter article, I always ask the meaning of unusual terms, acronyms (a word, like OPEC, formed from the initial letters of other words) and initialisms (a group of initial letters pronounced individually, like CBC). People often reply, “Everyone knows what it means” because they are insiders familiar with the industry’s jargon — and every industry has some — but it’s my job as writer to assume that someone won’t. So I explain what the mystery term is up front.
Probably the worst culprits for throwing around industry jargon are sports commentators.
The men in my household are all sports fans, so I’ve heard a lot of the terms. In hockey, players don’t just get a goal, they go “top shelf” or “roof daddy,” possibly when the other team is unsuccessfully “on the PK” (penalty kill). In baseball, an easily caught fly ball is a “can of corn,” a fastball is “cheese” and a pitcher can be said to “have some good giddy-up.”
Earlier this year, I ran into a whole new vocabulary listening to commentary on curling. This is a sport I know nothing about, so I had no idea what the announcer meant talking about “hit through the hole,” “last draw” and “threw a runback hit and stick for three.” Whaaat?
A friend has taken up lawn bowling; yep, it’s got it’s own jargon, too. A ball is actually a “bowl,” and there are “backhand draws,” “hammers,” “hog line” and “bowling to the Jack.”
Writers have their own secret words, too, as I was reminded when reading a fiction writer’s blog. She talked about “wip” (which from the context seemed to mean work in progress), “pubbed nonfic writer” (published non-fiction writer), “ms” (manuscript) and “SASE” (self-addressed stamped envelope).
Sports announcers can get away with their jargon only because many of the listeners are fans and followers of the sport. As insiders, they get it.
Writers shouldn’t assume any such thing.
In his recent Alertbox newsletter discussing how non-profit web sites can attract new donors (you’d think it would go without saying, but obviously not: it’s be clear about what you are trying to achieve, and tell potential donors how you are going to spend the money), Jakob Nielsen comments:
“For encouraging customer (or donor) loyalty, e-mail newsletters remain the Internet tool of choice.”
The link from this comment takes you to Nielsen’s June 12, 2006 Alertbox, “Email Newsletters: Surviving Inbox Congestion.” Lots of good advice, and this statement:
“Our main conclusion remains the same: Email newsletters are the best way to maintain customer relationships on the Internet.”
I share Nielsen’s love for newsletters. The best ones are warm and familiar. They contain interesting and/or useful information. They arrive often enough to build a relationship, but not so frequently that the reader starts to get annoyed. (What? Another one already? I haven’t had time to read the last one!) They keep in mind that the reader wants to know “what’s in it for me?” and go easy on the sales pitch.
Nielsen notes that readers have different expectations of newsletters compared to web sites. Newsletters create a highly emotional reaction, a bond between the reader and the company. Web sites are all about usability.
“Even a website that you visit daily will feel like a tool where you simply want to get in and get out. The negative aspect is that usability problems have a much stronger impact on the customer relationship.”
Nielsen has lots of advice about writing and designing for scanners, crafting subject lines, opening lines and headings, and making it easy for readers to get on and off subscription lists. Find much of it in the free summary and even more in his full Email Newsletter Usability Report ($398).
Companies are always looking at print publications with a critical eye, and wondering why they don’t just put the newsletter online and save money. There are plenty of reasons (studies show people retain more after reading print vs. online; it’s harder to read online; not everyone has access to computers on the job) and measurement guru Angela Sinickas provides excellent ammunition in a Melcrum article on “The real cost of killing print.”
I especially liked her comment on what you could say to executives anxious to wield the axe: “…that you’d be happy to reconsider your point of view when all the business newspapers and magazines read avidly by Finance and IT executives eliminate their printed versions.” I don’t see it happening soon.
Jakob Nielsen’s latest Alertbox pointed to his June 12, 2006 issue in which he talked about e-mail newsletters. Despite in-boxes that grow ever more crowded, Nielsen says, two years after their last study of e-mail newsletter usability, “Our main conclusion remains the same. E-mail newsletters are the best way to maintain customer relationships on the Internet.”
I agree that e-newsletters are a great way to stay in touch, which makes it all the more embarrassing that I — sometimes introduced as the Newsletter Queen for all the newsletter writing that I do — have not yet launched my own e-newsletter. Oh, I’ve thought about it. Here are some of the reasons for this terrible lack:
So I’m still thinking it over.
