Can you tell me…

Why my bank has hired people to make “courtesy calls” to customers — which seem to be thinly disguised ways to sell other products/services — but cannot tell me that they have discontinued my paper statements?

I have no problem getting my statement online, but I suddenly realized that I hadn’t seen a paper statement for months without seeing confirmation that it would no longer be mailed to me. Online, I see that I have the option of choosing one paper statement free, and any others will cost me. I have three accounts, and I only want one statement anyway; the free version is not applied to this one. Who did it? The bank’s not saying. This is the bank, by the way, that hired people to call and ask me if I thought the bank “cared” about  me.

Why a department store hid a similar statement fee notice in a densely worded document from a financial company?

When I first saw the notice, I almost threw it out as  junk mail, because I didn’t recognize the financial institution, and there was no obvious mention of the store or its logo. Inside, point #15 revealed that a $1 processing fee would be charged for each paper statement, but you could instead register for online access and get an e-statement.

As I say, I have no problem with online statements, or charging a fee to get one mailed. I do have a problem with companies not making change obvious to customers. Don’t you?

My car insurer claims it is working on “greening” its operations, and not a moment too soon. I’m drowning in paper.

True, I laid a number of changes on the company over the past two months. I bought a new car that had to be added to my existing insurance policy. I had to keep the old car on the policy until it was sold, bumping it to #2. Around the same time, Son #2 got his full driver’s license, so had to be officially added to the policy. I also asked that they make Son #2 “occasional driver” and Son #1 “secondary driver” because they had the reverse. Then I sold car #2.

But even though the various representatives I spoke with each time KNEW the other changes were coming, they still mailed me a paper confirmation and “change endorsement” every time. That’s a cover letter and four or five sheets of paper. And they mailed two credit notes; one is a rebate for the month left on car #2’s insurance, now cancelled, and I’m not sure what the other one is for. You’d think in all that paper, there would be an explanation.

Sure, I needed the new insurance card that listed both cars, and then a new one with just the new car. But the final thing I expected never came. That’s the renewal listing just the new car, detailing the premium components and showing “here’s what this all means to you, Ms. Horner.” You know; here’s how much you have to pay for your insurance for the year. Because it’s due July 20.

So I called my friends at the insurance company again today. Asked how much I owe. The fellow told me, and seemed surprised that I wanted the paper detailing how they came up with that number. He offered to e-mail it, which would have been perfect; I wondered why they didn’t e-mail all the other papers. Except what he e-mailed was just the “Automobile Insurance Confirmation.”  When I pointed that out, he said they would mail the documents.

Sigh. Probably I’ll get four or five sheets of paper, including new insurance cards that I don’t need.

So here’s my advice to companies that wonder how they can get rid of some paper:

• Look at how you automatically generate documents. There’s senseless duplication in there; find it.
• If you have your customer’s e-mail address, ask if you can use it to send routine confirmations.
• Don’t waste an entire page just to say “this confirms your recent change.” Build those words into the document.
• If you know there are going to be more changes over a relatively short time, wait until all the changes are made before you mail the document. If you must, think about using a temporary form that attaches to the original.
• Get your lawyers to be reasonable about what kind of files you have to keep and how many ways you have to cover your, um, assets.

End of rant.

Random petty annoyances in the usability world:

• When a web site makes me log in, but has nowhere for me to log out.
• When a site makes me log in more than once (for instance, once to enter a members-only section, and again to comment on a discussion forum).
• When my e-mail program randomly logs me out. Hello, I can see a security reason if I haven’t touched it for hours, but don’t do it when I’ve just used it minutes ago!
• When my client’s Outlook logs me out when I’m in the middle of writing an e-mail. Same thing; I get the security aspect of not being touched for hours, but I’m using it!
• When I send something to print and specify black only, but just because one of the coloured inks is low, I have to push a button on the printer itself that says “print in black only.”
• When the printer manufacturer bugs me to fill out a survey about my printer use, saying how valuable my feedback is. Then the survey only asks things like how many printers are in the house and if I use them for personal or business use, and doesn’t offer an open-ended question where I can actually give some feedback.

But, hey, it’s Friday afternoon and the sun is shining. So I’m getting off the computer now. If you’re still on, what bugs you?

I’m mad at Stephen Harper. Yes, Canada’s newly re-elected Prime Minister is still in the saddle after a useless election that he called, thinking he could turn a minority government into a majority. Although he did gain 16 more seats, he was 12 shy of the majority he wanted.

When he called this election, a year earlier than he himself had legislated, he whined about not being able to govern effectively with a minority. Now, he’s singing a different tune, saying, “We have shown that minority government can work.” Oh, please.

Voter turnout was just 59 per cent, the lowest in federal election history. Canadians were looking for our Obama, and we didn’t see him on the ballot.

Remember when flying used to be glamorous and exciting? You’d look forward to your trip. Flight attendants were cheerful and helpful, and gave out blankets and pillows so you’d be more comfortable. On long flights, you’d get a hot meal chosen from a menu even if you weren’t in First Class. After one trip, you might plan where you’d go next.

Yeah, well, those days are gone. After my most recent trip to visit my brother in California, I may never fly again. While the visit was great (thanks, Don!), the travel part was not.

We hit delays coming and going, caused by thunderstorms in Chicago on the way out, and fog in San Francisco and more bad weather in Chicago on the way home. We missed connecting flights. Flights were overbooked. Airline partners (United and Air Canada) did not communicate well. We were given the wrong tickets for a replacement flight and had to spend an hour in the “customer service” lineup to get them changed, joined by hundreds of other people trying to make alternate plans. Twice, the best we could get was standby, getting on in one case with only minutes to spare. No food, no pillows, no blankets, no comfort.

Of course, our three bags didn’t make it home on the flight we eventually caught. Two were delivered the next day. The third is still missing in action. Of course, that’s the one with two bottles of wine in it.

When you look at all the layoffs and cutbacks going on in the airline industry, you have to wonder how much worse it’s going to get. There will be even fewer people to help you when you’re stranded by weather or mechanical failure. If you can find anyone, you’ll be charged for the “service,” as Air Canada is now doing. There will be fewer flights between destinations, making a same-day backup plan harder.

At one time, air travel was only for the rich. We may be headed that way again.

P.S. Coincidentally, while I was away, an article called “The end of travel” appeared in the Toronto Star. Reporter Nicole Baute says:

“[writer James Howard Kunstler and others] predict the demise of the commercial airline industry as it currently exists. And then, like in the medieval age, society will split into two groups: the mobile, and the stranded. Wealthy governments and corporations – perhaps flying on corporate planes or chartered jets – will remain mobile, but the movement of the masses will be restricted…Without flight, entire communities could fade from view.”

Sobering thought, isn’t it?

If you want people to buy from your web site, make it uncomplicated, will ya? I am so sick of creating new accounts, thinking up a password, entering here and checking off there, only to hit a wall.

I’m going to the movies tonight with some gal pals (so you know it’s Sex and the City) and thought I would order tickets ahead of time. I have an AMC MovieWatcher loyalty card, which is supposed to give you a discount off the admission. So first step was checking that site to look for show times and ticket availability.

Oops, first I had to register my number, wait for the site to send me a password, enter my number AGAIN with the password, pick the theatre, movie and time, and try to buy tickets. Oops, first have to create a new account with MovieTickets.com. Go through it all but can’t use my postal code. I must change the country code using the link at the top right…which isn’t there. Oh, here it is, a few screens back. Try again. Almost get there…Oops, “sorry, this transaction was unsuccessful” and “This theater is temporarily unavailable for online ticket sales.” Sigh.

It’s no wonder 52.1% of customers who enter an online shopping cart system never make it to the checkout (according to the Ecommerce Benchmark Survey, January 2007, referenced by MarketingSherpa’s Anne Holland).

Oh well, my friends plan to meet there. If we can’t get tickets, we’ll go grab a Cosmo nearby.

A coupon for a free item seems like a good way to market your business, doesn’t it? Maybe not, if the place you turn it in can refuse to honour it.

We have such a coupon, expiring May 31, for a free sub at Quizno’s. In our household, the subs are known as good, but pricey, so Son #1 set off for the local shop with high anticipation. He was back soon after, no sub in hand. It seems the coupon is only good at “participating” retailers, and the local store refused to accept it. When asked who would, the employee unhelpfully replied, “Nobody in Oakville.”

Contrast this with Harvey’s, which offered a free hamburger to anyone, no coupon required, between 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. last Sunday. Son #2 and I went and joined a line-up at our local store. We had to wait a little while, but everyone was in good spirits and the line moved quickly. We added fries and a drink to our order, as many did. Son #2 normally gets chicken at fast food places, so if you can believe it, this was his first fast food hamburger. He liked it. We’ll be back.

It’s not too difficult to see which marketing was more effective.

Is it a spirit of “we have so much business, we don’t need to accommodate you” that makes restaurants refuse to take reservations on a busy weekend? Really, if you know, please tell me because I just don’t understand it.

Son #2’s favourite restaurant is a casual steak place called The Keg. Unfortunately for us, the one in our town closed a few years ago, supposedly because they were building a newer, bigger one even closer to us. (Sadly, it hasn’t happened yet.) The nearest one is now about a half-hour drive away. We know that Fridays and Saturdays are so busy it’s not uncommon to encounter 90-minute waits for a table, if you can even find a place to park your car. People are crammed into the entrance, the hallway, the bar and any other available spot; there are a few chairs and benches, but not nearly enough. The last time we were there with my parents, my 83-year-old father, who has had two hip replacements and can’t stand for long, ended up waiting for a good hour in the only available spot: my car. So for this visit, celebrating Son #2’s birthday earlier in the week, I called to see if there was any way we could make a reservation.

The quick answer to my explanation and request: Oh, no, not possible. But if you come at 5 p.m. it shouldn’t take long.

We arrived at 5:30 so I guess we missed our little window; the place was packed and the promised wait was now 60-90 minutes. To make a long story short, we managed to find a place for Dad for what turned out to “only” be an hour’s wait. Then we were seated in the lounge area, with nearby groups of people waiting for their tables loudly talking over the music and forcing us to repeat ourselves several times if we wanted to talk. (Reminded me of Donna Papacosta’s recent post about her noisy restaurant experiences. Why don’t restaurants do something about the acoustics??)

So, Son #2 got his steak and he was happy. I can’t say that the experience left me wanting more.

Sorry, it’s a Friday afternoon vent! The good news is that my ISP, Bell Sympatico, has added a “service status” page to their web site, so you can check it before calling (shudder) to talk to their tech support. If you are lucky, the status is correct and a yellow or red light on the E-mail section when you are having e-mail difficulties indicates they know there is a problem and are working on it.

The bad news is that more likely, you’ll get happy green lights indicating everything is fine, fine, fine, even if it’s not, not, not. One day, a red light showed that network service had some problems in the Toronto area, although they thought e-mail service was “available.” From my end, it wasn’t very available. I could sometimes log in and fetch my mail; sometimes when I tried to open or delete a message, it threw me to a screen that said “ERROR. Due to an internal error your request cannot be processed. We apologize for the inconvenience. Please try again later.” So for most of the week, I wasn’t entirely confident the mail was getting through either way.

You’re wondering why am I telling YOU this instead of Bell. Well, I did try to tell Bell using an online form that I had to fill out twice, and which forced me to include “other comments” even though I wasn’t going to add any.

I later received an e-mail from Siva, telling me he/she understood my concern and suggesting things that involved deleting, recreating or disabling — in typical fashion, assuming the problem is on MY end. This is exactly what all their tech support people do over the telephone, and I refuse to call them any more. Come to think of it, maybe that is their sinister plan; if tech support calls drop in dramatic fashion, fewer people are needed to answer.

I feel better now! Plus, as far as I know, there are green lights all around.

Oh, those jokers at Sympatico. Today they breathlessly advised me (in a message sent three times) that they have “enhanced” my e-mail service and added “new, complimentary features.”

The first new feature was that I couldn’t access my mail until I changed my password. Sympatico offered links to help members “configure” their e-mail, assuming of course that we all use Microsoft products. I don’t. The link I got (for “other”) might as well have told me I was on my own. Fortunately, it seems that Eudora is handling the change on its own but I’ll have to get through today to know for sure.

One of my other new features is an “enhanced junk mail filter,” which in the same e-mail delivery as the three Sympatico messages let through three Viagra spams. The next delivery had eight spam messages. So much for that enhancement.