Excuse me while I vent about Microsoft, and specifically Xbox. My two boys are avid gamers and we have had just about every game system going (except the Playstation series). There are many things that drive me crazy about the gaming industry, including the fact that until Nintendo Wii, each new system that comes out is incompatible with the earlier one. Thus all the money you have spent on games (and it’s a lot) is immediately down the drain.

So, here we are with Xbox. The original version basically died on the boys some time ago, and they saved up their money and bought Xbox 360. (It’s already been in for repairs, but that’s a whole different rant.) There seemed no point in trying to get the old machine fixed so it’s sitting in Game Central gathering dust. So I e-mailed Microsoft to see if they have some sort of environmental program whereby they take back old systems and properly recycle them, as HP does.

Of course my e-mail is a non-standard inquiry, which Microsoft doesn’t know what to do with. It generated what I guess is their usual response. “Thank you for writing Xbox Customer Support! Thank you for your inquiry! And I do apologize for the inconvenience. I understand that you have questions regarding the repair process, warranty status and the repair cost of your Xbox console. It will be best for you to call our phone support number so that you will be properly assisted.” Ha, ha.

I did call just to see what would happen. The phone support is not set up for a question like mine either. On top of that, they have the annoying voice-activated response system, which is about the LEAST customer friendly and most unhelpful system around. By telling “Max” that none of his options would help me, I was eventually transferred to a human (and then a second human) who had a real problem understanding that I wasn’t calling for a refund or a repair. I just wanted to find out what Microsoft is doing about the enormous amounts of electronic waste generated by their non-working machines. Apparently nothing, so I suggested it would be a good program to start. Human #2 suggested I e-mail my suggestion. And thus the circle closed.

Halton Region has a program finishing Saturday that collects electronic waste at no charge. Guess I’ll be paying them a visit!

So I’m on the line with Bell Canada as we speak. We’ve had months of issues dating back a year, when Bell was supposed to dig up the phone line to get rid of noise on the line. In the meantime, Bell strung a “temporary” line to our neighbours phone. (Note to Bell: It would be nice if you had a card to leave with the neighbours saying what you are doing and why. Our neighbours had to come over and ask what was going on.)

Months passed, Bell forgot us and winter arrived so the ground was too hard to dig. So we waited. We had internal phone problems in March and a technician came. I asked about the other repair and found out the ticket had been closed as if all was taken care of. Supposedly it was reactivated. Spring passed, summer passed and here we are at fall. The temporary line seems to be gone although I never saw a technician and no digging ever happened. The line isn’t noisy any more but our so-called high speed Internet access acts as painfully slow as dial-up and it regularly cuts out; sounds like a line issue, don’t you think?

The Bell guy I’m talking to asked if I’ve called Sympatico. Not lately, I had to say, because they just are no help at all. It’s possible my voice was a little testy because “James” assured me a technician will be by today. All I have to do is wait around between now and 5 p.m.

Dave Traynor’s post on customer service on Sunday (hey, I’m trying to catch up on my feeds!) reminded me of another customer service experience of my own the other day. Son #2 wanted to get his G1 license — that’s what used to be called a learner’s permit, his license to learn how to drive. So we went to the government office that dispenses such things to write the required test, armed with a government-issued health card. It wasn’t enough, as we were informed by a snarky and impatient man. Have you noticed how grumpiness is extremely catching? We left feeling stupid for having brought the wrong I.D. and annoyed for wasting the trip.

We went back a few days later, armed with every possible I.D., including passport, health card, birth certificate, student card. The same man was there, but fortunately we were called over to a different desk. The woman was warm and friendly, like someone’s really nice mom. She was pleasant and helpful with us and, as overheard while I waited for Cory to write his test, equally helpful with her colleagues. We didn’t present her with the same challenges, but I am positive the experience with the wrong I.D. would have been quite different with her, just because of her attitude.

We left with a warm feeling and a temporary driving permit.

Here’s another tale from the customer service (or should I say, disservice) files.

I was away for five days, and I mean AWAY — no laptop, Blackberry, not even a cell phone. My voice mail message was clear that I was out of the office and not often checking for messages, and there was only one message waiting when I returned. Of course, there were 79 assorted e-mail messages, which I downloaded the night of my return and scanned through checking for urgent ones before turning off the computer and going to bed. The next morning (insert dramatic music here) — no access to the Internet.

I tried all the usual tricks of turning the modem off and on several times and restarting the computer. Not having any luck, I called my service provider, Sympatico. Is it just me or have you noticed that tech support people seem to have been told to assume the customer is at fault? Despite being told up front that I did not change any settings or otherwise sabotage my access, and in fact I wondered if they had any issues that would affect me, the fellow asked me a series of questions that appeared designed to find out what stupid thing I had done. After about half an hour he had to “escalate” me to second-level tech support, who said there appeared to be a problem with the line and it would take them 24 hours to properly test it. Right after this statement, Tech 2 Person said “Have a nice day.” No apology, no promise to get things corrected quickly. I replied politely, “I doubt it given the circumstances, but thank you for the sentiment.”

For now, I’ve been able to receive a few e-mails using WiFi in the neighbourhood, but it’s next to impossible to send anything out, so I spent most of the morning trying to get a file to a client. With that accomplished, I hopped on the Internet to see how many posts I’ve missed (13, in some cases) from the feeds I follow and post my own thoughts. I’m thinking Sympatico could spend less time trying to prove customers incompetent and more time trying to help them.

Seth Godin has been writing about customer service a lot lately, and in one recent post, pointed to “Seven steps to remarkable customer service” by Joel Spolsky, a software developer in New York City. Reading what his company does about customer service makes me want to buy the software and I don’t even know what it does! I particularly liked #2, “Suggest blowing out the dust.” It reflects the desire to make things right without making the customer look foolish.

Customer service is on my mind, too, after an experience this week with Blue Mountain ski resort. It was reading week for the university my older son attends (President’s week in the U.S.), so I took my younger son out of high school for two days and we went to Blue for a one-night getaway. It’s an Intrawest resort so has their typical village at the base of the mountain, with restaurants, shops and bars; a fun spot. Check-out time is 11 a.m., but the package I had booked provides a lift ticket good any time you get there and all the following day. We arrived about 1 p.m. to a line-up at the front desk. Of course our room wasn’t ready (check-in is 4 p.m.), but we got a voucher for our lift tickets and a parking pass, went to line up at the ticket office and eventually hit the slopes.

At 4 p.m., I called to find out if our room was ready. No; they suggested I call back. At 5 p.m., still not ready, although apparently the housekeeper was just starting it and they expected it would take about 45 minutes. At 6 p.m., still not ready, nor was it at 6:30. Profuse apologies. Several of these calls featured long waits on hold, with one song playing in an endless loop. In the meantime, we could not access the ski lockers so had to leave our equipment outside. At 7 p.m., we finally were able to get in the room — which turned out to be the farthest possible distance away from the ski hill with no nearby access to the street level. There was a piece of dental floss in my sink and a crumpled tissue and gum wrapper tucked beside a dresser.

To “make up” for the delay, the front desk allowed me an extra hour before we had to check out, after I asked for it. When I checked out (and stood through another lineup, with four vacant stations where staff could have been handling more guests), I got another fairly meaningless apology and a hope that we had otherwise enjoyed our stay. My response was less than enthusiastic.

I really should have filled out the comment card. I brought it home and may yet do so. Here’s what I’d like to suggest to Blue:

1. Hire more staff on the front desk and in housekeeping, especially during what you know is a busy time. Have all hands on deck at peak times.

2. Change the way you store skis and snowboards so the guest doesn’t need to know their room number, if you won’t give it out until the room is ready.

3. Give the lift tickets at the front desk to avoid sending your guests to yet another lineup.

4. Empower your staff to give an apology with meaning, such as a voucher for appetizers at a local restaurant or a coffee at the Starbucks.

5. Change the music that plays when people are on hold.

6. You know when things don’t go smoothly at check-in, and you have the guest’s contact information. Get in touch with them and find out how you can improve the experience next time.

I’ll be at a ski resort in Colorado next week. We’ll see how the experiences compare.