Are you always the same person, or do you act one way with friends and family, and a different way with clients and colleagues?

This is fresh in my mind because I while on vacation last week, I was chatting (over a few margaritas) with a few ladies I had just met, and one of the women spoke warmly of her son. Although she seemed to be a loving and caring mother, I later found out from her friend that she did not come across that way to the son at all, and had not given him so much as a card for the birthday he’d had a few weeks earlier.

How much harder is it to be one way to one group of people and (perhaps after a few margaritas) be completely different to another group than it is to just be yourself all the time?

At a recent meeting of IABC’s Professional Independent Communicators, personal brand strategist Paul Copcutt talked about personal branding and what sets us apart. Exercises where we discussed words that would immediately identify specific coffee shops without naming them showed clearly that when we make a purchase, it’s not just about the product or service. If each one will sell us a coffee, how do we choose between Tim Hortons and Starbucks?

Paul explained that rational attributes are the basic foot in the door; like every coffee shop selling coffee, you must have these to be considered. The emotional attributes are the unique aspects that set you apart and actually get you the job or the sale.

For example, you’d expect and want an accountant to be analytical and good with numbers, and a communicator to be creative and good with words. What sets otherwise equally qualified people apart might be their flair for fun, their responsive customer service or their vision.

Paul recommended identifying your strengths and focusing on them; “you’ll never get any better than mediocre at your weaknesses.” One way to discover your strengths is to use a tool called a 360 Reach assessment, which offers a 15-day free trial that invites your contacts to choose among various attributes the ones that best describe you. You then work the terms that best capture your strengths into your value proposition, your “elevator speech” or the one-liner that sums up what you do.

In general, Paul said, both family and work colleagues will likely describe you the same way; you’ll show similar characteristics whether at home or at work. But he did describe someone who had suppressed one aspect of his personality at work. With Paul’s encouragement, he eventually allowed this hidden side to come out. This turned out to be welcome in the workplace and actually strengthened the fellow’s performance. Plus he could just be himself, all the time.

No margaritas required.

You wouldn’t believe it, looking at my office last week, but I am not a hoarder.

Hoarders, as displayed to the world in the A&E show of the same name, have “an inability to part with their belongings” that is so out of control, they are on the verge of a personal crisis. A crisis, of course, that they are proud to have on national television.

It’s not an inability to let go that causes my office to overflow with papers and stuff. It’s a tendency to keep a lot of things for reference, and a lack of disciplined and regular purging. Who has time for tidying, especially when you’re juggling multiple projects and meeting urgent deadlines?

So when I decided earlier this year to finally treat myself to a new desk large enough to hold everything I need at my fingertips, and a new bookcase to replace the shelves hung on wall-mounted brackets, I had my work cut out for me. Out went the old: desk, shelves and contents. Before anything went on or in the new, I had to review and purge, which explains the waiting pile shown here.

It took me several days to conquer the mess and end up with an office that brings a smile to my face rather than an involuntary shudder. Here’s how you can do it, too:

•  Get rid of old files, out-of-date software manuals and conference summaries. If you haven’t looked at something for years, or it’s obsolete, you don’t need it.

•  If you subscribe to magazines and newsletters, don’t keep the entire issues. Instead, cut out the appropriate article or section you want to keep and file it somewhere you can easily find and refer to it again. I used to have dust-covered collections that went back years; not any more!

•  If you keep hard copies of projects you worked on, put them in one place. I had binders of client work in three or four different places and couldn’t always find one when I wanted to look something up. Now they are all on the shelves over my desk, where I can refer to them easily.

•  Gather all your office supplies in one spot and put like items together. Doing this showed me that I had bought envelopes when I didn’t need more, among other things.

•  Fix the things that bug you. Why did I have duct tape holding together a binder that I referred to often, when I had a perfectly good almost-new binder I could have used? Oh, right, that binder wasn’t available because it held back issues of a newsletter that I never referred to.

•  If you have awards or other items that make you smile, put them on display.

I promise that my office will never get to its former untidy state. But it will be an ongoing fight against my packrat nature, so I can never let down my guard!

Sometimes being a writer in a home office means writing, writing, writing. Interviews often take place by telephone, and files go back and forth by e-mail. If it weren’t for the fact that I have a dog, I might not even get outside, especially in winter! But by joining different networking groups, I make sure to get out and meet new people or reconnect with colleagues.

Looks like February is following the frantic pace of January when it comes to networking. Tonight I’m out with a communicator I am mentoring, plus another IABC colleague. Tomorrow and Monday, I’m having lunch with friends. And I am signed up for these events:

February 10, 6:30 – 9 p.m.
HPCA presents: Encore Improv
Peel Village golf course, 29A Hartford Trail, Brampton, ON
Whether you are negotiating, meeting with a client for the first time or fielding questions, being quick on your feet is an essential business skill for independent communicators. Learn from the Second City style of improv comedy how to respond in the moment, spark your creativity and sharpen your listening skills. Free to Halton-Peel Communications Association members; $20 for non-members. Sign up at www.hpcaonline.com. (Note: If there is still small print that says the event is closed, ignore it; it’s not. Register with Mary Harvey.)

Feb. 11, 6-8:30 p.m
IABC/AIP presents: Show Your Love for the Planet
Haworth Toronto Showroom, 55 University Avenue, Toronto, ON
IABC and its Alliance of Independent Practitioners offer a “sustainable” munch & mingle. Learn about sustainable approaches to communications while you network. Participate in a “green footprint” icebreaker and have a chance to win eco-friendly door prizes. IABC members pay $30, non-members $40. Register online.

Feb. 23, 6:30-8 p.m.
IABC/Toronto Westend networking event
Wendel Clark’s Classic Grill & Sports Lounge, Oakville, ON
Strictly networking fun for $25. Register by e-mail.

Feb. 25, 6-8 p.m.
IABC presents: Successful Communications in a 2.0 World with Steve Crescenzo
Sutton Place Hotel, 955 Bay Street, Toronto, ON
Steve Crescenzo is one of the U.S.’s leading experts in employee communications. He comes equipped with dozens of case studies and best practices in Creative Communications from both small and large organizations in Canada and the U.S. He’ll show you how to use multimedia tools such as podcasts and video without blowing the budget, and five things you can do to turn intranets and websites from electronic wastelands to powerhouse communication tools.  IABC members $45, non-members $65. Register online.

How is your networking going so far this year? Are you getting out there?

While at the dentist’s office recently getting my teeth cleaned, the dental hygienist mentioned something we both found shocking: The dentist got his wife’s sister to buy everything for his wife’s Christmas stocking.

Okay, so spinmasters will say Dr. P. was “outsourcing” the work because he was so busy working. Oh, please.

I say he should be able to spare 10 minutes to duck into the drugstore and buy a few simple things, showing that he pays attention: knowing/buying the cosmetics his wife uses, the chocolate she likes, the perfume she’s been wanting…you get the picture. His wife has a right to expect something from him and it’s just not the same if someone else does it.

At a networking event the other night, we were talking about entrepreneurs who use “& Associates” with their name. Someone wondered if it’s ethical if the contract says “I will do X” but then we subcontract the work so someone else actually does X.

The answer, of course, is “it depends.”

Is the client “buying” you and you alone, or just a product or service? Is the client the kind of wife who wants her husband to pick out a personal, meaningful gift, or the kind of wife who just wants an expensive gift?

Sometimes the client truly wants you; for instance, you’ve made a name for yourself in your flare for media relations, or your ability to put someone at ease and get a great interview. If you’ve promised that you will be the one doing this, the client is buying YOU.

But sometimes the client just wants the work done. Your firm has the reputation for getting things done, and the client is happy to hire you, knowing you’ll look after everything. So if you write a media release but you subcontract media calls to someone else, that may be fine. In that case, though, you should make it clear — specifying in your contract or letter of agreement — that you occasionally work with others and “we” will handle X. And you certainly should review your subcontractor’s work and make sure it meets your standards.

Do you agree?

The start of a new year always seems to prompt at least a couple of weeks of good behaviour. Yeah, this is the year we’re going to lose 10 pounds, learn a new skill, get organized. And so I found myself looking around at the mess in my home office over the holidays, thinking, “This has got to change.”

I started small, with a shelf of files and the desk drawer that is the equivalent of every kitchen’s “junk drawer.” Here is what going through them taught me to do differently this year:

• BUSINESS CARDS
  About 40 cards were shoved in a corner of the drawer in no apparent order. I spent some time sorting these out and filing them, noting that some had written reminders on the back of where I had met the person and if I had promised to follow up with something.
  To do: This year, I vow to deal with any business cards by first searching for the person on LinkedIn and asking for a connection. You could argue that once the connections are made online, I could throw the cards away, but for now let’s say I’ll keep them, entered in contact management software and/or physically filed. I will make sure to write on EVERY card where I met the person.
• STUFF
  I can’t tell you how many pens, shells of pens waiting for refills, stubs of pencils, bits of paper, calculators with no batteries, paper clips and labels were stuffed in that drawer. Clearly, I had long ago abandoned any semblance of order and at some point began just tossing things in there just because I didn’t have another place to put them.
  To do: This year, I am finding proper homes for more things and keeping them there. I am putting the pens that work in a mug on my desk, and throwing out more things.
• PAPER
  We never really believed in paperless offices, did we? And I sure don’t have one. Two areas in particular have been messing up my office. (1) When I interview someone for an article, I print out the notes and keep them until the article is published. This is helpful because sometimes I have had to refer to the notes during the approval process, to add more detail or clarify a point. But somehow the notes have been multiplying when I’m not looking. (2) I have active files in at least three places besides the actual filing cabinets. Sometimes the files there aren’t actually active any more and should be moved out of the way. And I almost always drop things behind or trip over one of these places.
  To do:  This year, I will return to the notes within a month or so and shred them if they contain any sensitive information, or recycle them if they don’t. And today I am picking up a few supplies I need to combine all three spots into one place for active files, getting rid of the one that trips me.

There’s more to be done, but this is a start.

How do you stay on top of clutter in your office, especially when you are busy meeting client deadlines?

It was still dark as I drove my husband to a 7 a.m. doctor’s appointment yesterday. Traffic was building on the highway, but at least it was moving. In another half an hour, cars would probably be keeping no better than a snail’s pace.

It suddenly occurred to me that in my former corporate life, this is where I would have been at this ungodly hour on a weekday. I would already be stressed out by being up early enough to shower and dress, get the family organized and get on the road. The radio would be on to give advance warning of accidents and traffic jams, incoming snow storms or heavy rain. A drive that takes just half an hour in ideal conditions — perfect weather, middle of the day, light traffic — routinely took at least an hour, sometimes even when getting on the road at 7, since plenty of others had the same idea of “getting a jump” on traffic.

I smiled and said, “I am SO LUCKY.”

Lucky to be able to do what I do best, write, in a home office. Lucky that I don’t have to be somewhere else at a certain time every day. Lucky that I don’t spend one or two hours on the road every day. Lucky that now I usually listen to weather reports with mild curiosity rather than anxiety.

Do you feel lucky today? Why?

At two recent networking events, someone commented that I am always well-dressed. A translator I once worked with was surprised to find, when we finally met in person, that I wasn’t the scruffy, unwashed writer he had expected.

People imagine that independents sit around in our bathrobes and fuzzy slippers, and therefore we don’t know how to clean up real nice.

First of all, I do not work in my bathrobe. I shower, put on makeup, get dressed (usually in jeans and a t-shirt or sweatshirt) and am at my desk by 9 a.m. Freelance writers may have freedom, but they must also be disciplined and professional.

Second, I usually work with and for corporate communications people. They are a well-dressed crowd. I am part of that crowd, even though my office is at home. So when I leave my office to meet other people, I like to look the part, and that means a jacket over a skirt or pants, if not a suit. Even if the event involves other independents, not corporate communicators, I like to look professional. If I know the group, I might wear jeans (dark wash or black), but I’ll still have a jacket on top.

In fact, a nice jacket — like the red one that gives my blog its name — is pretty much the independent gal’s secret weapon. Throw a jacket on, with perhaps a striking necklace and lipstick, and people will always think you are well-dressed.

It isn’t frivolous fashion. You are marketing yourself even before you open your mouth, and image and appearance matter if you want to be taken seriously.

Last night at a networking event given by IABC/Toronto’s Alliance of Independent Practitioners, or AIP, I shared why I volunteer, as did Leslie Hetherington, Donna Papacosta, Barb Sawyers and Lee Weisser. AIP is a sub-group of IABC that supports more than 100 independent communicators, offering professional development and networking opportunities that address our particular needs.

I’ve blogged before about the value of volunteering in earning referrals that help you diversify your business. At this event, we talked to the group about why we have volunteered for AIP in the past. Here are some of the thoughts I shared:

You can volunteer in an area you already know, which may help you more easily fit volunteering into your daily life. This also showcases your skills. For example, my volunteer activities often involve writing, which is what I do for a living.

You can volunteer in an area where you’d like to gain some experience or knowledge, or maybe something for your portfolio. I didn’t know much about e-newsletters before starting one for AIP, and I was glad to learn more about them.

Volunteer in an area you feel passionate about or that has some importance to you. At the point where you’re thinking, “Someone should…” or “Why don’t they offer…”, that’s where you should also be thinking, “this group needs X and maybe I can help.” Most of these organizations are only as good as their volunteers, and you shouldn’t wait for someone else to provide what you think is missing. I joined the board of AIP in 2004 because the group seemed to be floundering, and I did not want it to disappear. A 2007 Toronto chapter OVATION award is recognition that our volunteer work was able to make a difference.

Most indies get much of their work through referrals and repeat business. For people to be comfortable referring you, they have to be confident that (a) you have the skill and talent to do the work, and (b) you can be trusted to meet deadlines. That means you’ll make the referrer look good.

In my own volunteer work, I was able to show that I met both conditions. I gained new business, from people I worked with directly in AIP and from people who read my writing in the newsletter, and I gained more visibility. I also referred business to some of the people I got to know better through volunteering. We all got to practice skills like leadership, teambuilding, time management and creativity, and we made new friends. Sure, sometimes it got a little hectic trying to fit the volunteer work in with paying work, family and friends, but life is already a balancing act, isn’t it? I find it all works out, and maybe all you have to “sacrifice” is time in front of the television.

So if you don’t already volunteer, try it. Take baby steps. Offer to write an article for the newsletter, or take RSVPs for an event. You’ll make new friends, strengthen your connections and build your profile. And you’ll make sure that the events and organizations important to you will continue.

Just don’t sit back and expect someone else to do the work for you.

While decluttering my office this week, I ran across a battered 1981 edition of The Canadian Writer’s Market. In it I found 32 pages of agency listings, each entry with a pencilled X or check mark beside it, plus new telephone numbers and scribbled names. I was a newlywed, had just moved to Toronto and was moonlighting as a freelance writer while searching for a full-time job.

Oh, those glory days. I absolutely HATED cold calling. Most people do.

Cold calling is exactly that, cold. The rate of rejection is high; even the best salespeople can take 10 calls to get three meetings. Although you shouldn’t, it’s hard not to take it personally. But sometimes you have no choice.

Here are some tips to get through cold calling:

• Be positive. Look at it this way; you have a valuable service that the right person will be glad to know about. Your job is to find that person.
• Don’t take rejection personally. In fact, don’t even think of it as “rejection.” Think of it as confirming that you don’t need to spend time following up with this person.
• Think about and practice what you’re going to say, but don’t launch into a canned speech that doesn’t leave room for a comment or two.
• Keep your introduction brief. Mine was: “I’m a freelance writer, and wonder if your company occasionally uses freelancers.” Yes, and the conversation continued. No, and I thanked them for their time and ended the call.
• Keep the focus on the people you’re speaking with and their needs. Follow their lead. Allow a natural conversation to develop.
• Some experts advise calling early in the day or late in the day. You’re not as likely to get an administrator or other gatekeeper.
• If you get voice mail — and it’s hard not to! — don’t leave a message on the first attempt. But if you can’t get through after another try or two, leave a brief message. Plan ahead what you’re going to say. Say your name and phone number slowly.

I have not had to make a cold call for many years, thank goodness. These days, besides repeat business from existing clients, I am more likely to get referrals from people I know through networking and volunteering, both options that are much warmer than cold calling.

Do you use cold calling? What tips make it a successful tactic for you?

This week I had the shocking experience of having someone Not. Like. My. Work.

I say shocking because I’ve been fortunate. Over about 18 years of running my own business, I’ve been able to submit a first draft of my assignments that’s pretty close to what’s required. There may be a bit of back and forth over some wording, but generally, the client is pleased with what I hand in. I’ve received comments like this from happy customers:

• “You did a good job of capturing the essence of our discussion and the message we were looking to convey.”
• “I am impressed at how you can take a 20-minute conversation and turn it into an understandable article.”
• “I can basically provide you with details for a story and you just run with it.”
• “I am impressed with your skills of listening, selecting the most important information and putting it all together.”

So it was a good reminder to me to stay humble when an article I submitted last week did not fly. The VP who has to approve it did not like it, so I am rewriting it this week. His communications person (who did like the article, fortunately) and I have discussed the areas he flagged as a problem, and one key change that will solve much of them is a new lead sentence/introduction.

What I have learned:

• This reinforces the importance of one of the tactics I use to turn in a close-to-final first draft. That is, to interview key people involved in the topic I am covering, and ask “what do you want employees to take away from reading this article?” I had asked the VP for 10 minutes to talk about his perspective, but he did not have time.
• I could have sent a few questions by e-mail, just to confirm the sensitive areas he wanted to avoid or key areas he wanted to highlight.
• Recognizing that the VP had a new boss, I should have asked about a recent meeting he attended and whether he had commented on the project I was to write about.

I’m starting a new week properly chastened.